My Journey Part 1 — My wake-up call
Originally shared in September 2024. I’m gathering it here as part of my journey. Since then, it has been almost three years medication-free, and my body feels healthier and stronger than ever. What I find most beautiful is the reminder that healing and transformation are possible — even when it once felt impossible.
I find myself unable to breathe, my arms and legs cramping, and I think to myself, "Is this it? Is this how it ends?"
It’s 2018. I’m sitting in the ER in Stockholm, leaning my head against my mum’s shoulder, feeling weak. It’s Sunday evening, and the room is full. I know we’ll be waiting all night. My heart rate starts speeding up, like it’s going to jump out of my chest. Then suddenly, I can’t breathe.
Mum runs out, shouting for help, and the next thing I know, I’m held down by four people on a stretcher. They inject tranquilizer straight into my arm, and seconds later, I feel myself relax. When the doctor leaves, and we’re between those blue curtains you see on “Grey’s Anatomy,” I look at mum and say, “At least we skipped the line,” and we laugh. I’m just happy to still be alive.
I’m 42, a mother of two with a successful job and a beautiful home. But at that moment, I’m just so grateful to have my mum there.
It turns out I had a severe panic attack. The doctor wanted to send me to the psych ward, until I explained the meds I was on. A cocktail of asthma meds, sleeping aids, and anti-inflammatories had pushed my body to the edge. After that, I spiraled into PTSD.
This was my wake-up call.
Even though no one saw me as sick, I was. Chronically ill. My lungs were a mess, and I was overworking my body. It was clear I couldn’t keep living like this, relying on all these medications. I had to find another way.
I realized I wasn’t treating my body like the temple it is, my diet was full of processed food, dairy, and wheat, all fueling inflammation. So, I made drastic changes. Slowly, I started to feel a little better. But I didn’t just want to get better, I wanted to heal.
I discovered stories of “spontaneous remissions” and saw they had something in common, a strong belief in the mind-body connection and a trust in a higher intelligence.
I started meditating daily, visualizing myself with healthy lungs, and working on my thoughts and emotions. After months, I felt a subtle shift, a new sense of peace, more joy, and more love for the world and people around me.
The path wasn’t straight, but something inside me knew that complete healing was possible.
It’s now been almost two years since I’ve been off medication. After 22 years of physical struggles, I’m free. I still question it sometimes, but yes, it’s real. I’m so incredibly grateful, every day, for this healing.
This journey has shown me the profound connection between our minds, bodies, and souls. Healing my body was just the beginning. It transformed everything—where I live, my relationships, and the work I do.
More of that in my next story.
